On the Subject of Dating: Australia v. America

Australia was a place of many surprises for me. Similar enough to California not to be disorienting, unique enough to be edgy, there are still many aspects of life there that I continue to miss. My dating life in Australia was one of those facets because it was fun, frequent, and it always took me by surprise.

I met one guy when I walked into the sporting goods store, looking for knee pads."We don't usually have a lot of requests for them," he said, surprised that I needed them for bike riding, since I didn't own a car. "I fall down a lot," I answered wryly, and he laughed. That sparked a conversation that led to numbers being exchanged before I'd left with my purchase a few minutes later.

I had never dated so frequently in America, and I thought it was my new attitude and sense of adventure, being a traveler and an expat, that made the difference. Maybe in part it was, but I have made a couple of observations that I'd like to share, because my dating life in America has been rather quiet since I've been back home.

1) Australian men are bold. They don't really make bones about the fact that they're interested in you. Maybe it's the European influence, but I didn't really have to guess whether a guy found me attractive, and maybe that made me more confident in continuing the conversation once it had begun. Look, I'm not saying that they have any nobler intentions than American men do when it comes to talking up a girl, but Australian men are not shy to let you know that they like what they see.

2) Australian men just ask the girl out. Whether it ends in failure or success, at least they'll have tried and know where they stand. One of the more frustrating aspects of dating in America is that there is a protracted series of conversations, flirting and talking. It leaves women wondering whether they misread the clues. But, men, what if you never see her again? I say, if you see a girl and you think she's cute, ask her out, already! The last guy I dated in Melbourne asked me for directions to the train station when we both boarded off the tram one windy day (completely made up, of course, he just wanted to say hello). It was a lucky coincidence that we were going the same way, but he made up a great story about how his friend had just canceled his plans to meet up in the city and seeing as how we were going in the same direction anyways, would I like to have some coffee with him? We spent the rest of the day chatting, drinking at cafes, and sharing a meal. When I asked him later what he would've done if I'd said I was going in a different direction, he answered, "Well, then, I would've kept going my way. But I thought you were cute, and I wanted to meet you."

3) Australian men are gentlemen, but they're not necessarily traditionalists. A friend of mine who spent time in Africa has said that she's had to re-adjust to the traditional role of waiting to be asked out by the guy, because, as she puts it, God forbid that a woman subvert the order of things by asking the guy out if he's dragging his feet. But I felt more confident in Australia to be the one to suggest that we hang out-- sometimes successfully, other times not so much, but I never felt that it wasn't appropriate to do so. There wasn't a time that I felt I had to backpedal and take back my invitation.

4) Australian men dress better. Okay, that has absolutely nothing to do with the conversation, except as an aside, but since I've got your ear (or rather, your eyes), can we talk about wearing a better fit of jeans and t-shirts, please? What is up with those baggy khakis and over-sized t-shirts, guys? Californians are definitely very casual about the way they dress out of the house, I get that now, but it still doesn't mean that jeans and a shirt can't be sharp and flattering.

I don't mean to paint with any broad strokes and I don't mean to insult anyone's sensibilities. These are only my observations and opinions. Have you ever traveled abroad, and found the dating environment different from your home town or country?